Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
