She said her name was "party"
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is wine microwaveable?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
