Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize