Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
