gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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