Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
