with your own penis?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
