if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
