thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
