i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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