whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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