Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
