You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will be naked everywhere
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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