Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
