Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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