she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
