so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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