While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
