Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
