Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
