like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
