oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize