dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
