You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
