i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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