I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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