Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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