Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
