real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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