I need help removing her.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
