So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
