she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
