i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize