That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
