I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
