Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
