In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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