"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
