well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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