I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
