it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize