He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
