God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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