Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
