Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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