I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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