i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
