u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
