There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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