even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
