He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
