Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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