We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
