i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
