If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
