a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize