My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
