just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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