I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
