areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
