planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
