THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
