My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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