It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
