it was like his penis was on wheels.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
