I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I am spending my child support on dildos
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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