just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize