just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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