is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My life is pants optional.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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