Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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