naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
