I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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